Monday, April 6, 2015

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

          I used to think I was one of a rare breed that judged her Self much more harshly than others. What other people thought of me was 10,000 times more important than what I thought of my Self. I believed that the majority of the population were well-balanced individuals who had good Self- esteem and put themselves in the same category of decent human being as they put their friends, family and/or other people in. Some people were even supposed to be “Self-centered,” putting themselves ahead of everyone else.
          However, I came to the startling revelation that there are thousands of people like me. Individuals who put their Self and desires last while everyone else rates above them are much more common than I thought. Heck, this “rare breed” may actually be the most ordinary breed of all.             

          Let me tell you other people who put your Self on the “bottom rung” some ways I found to fight this feeling of inferiority.

Part One

          Be at least a little “Self-centered” and put your “Self” first -- or at least second. You may notice that I separate “Self” as a word. That’s because your “Self” is your Spirit or Soul. It is your center, your inner holy place, your church or temple. Unless you are some sort of crazed lunatic, you don’t go around tearing down other holy places. So, why do you tear down your own??       
          Consider your soul as the center of the universe. Just remember that everyone else has their own “center,” too. Treat your “Self” with the same respect and dignity that you give to any other person. Base your Self-worth on what you believe is right! When you slip up -- and everybody does -- give yourself another chance and then another and another. After all, nobody is perfect.


Part Two

        Treat yourself like a child. Unless you are a true perfectionist and think everyone around you has to be perfect, you probably treat a child with much more compassion, understanding and forgiveness than you do anyone else. For instance, instead of getting angry with yourself for spilling something, say, “Oh, that was just an accident.”
 
        When you’re tempted to berate yourself for not sticking to your diet or for not getting your house spotless or for not exercising for the prescribed amount of time, stop and think, “What would I say to a kid?” Your answer would probably be something along the line of “You tried.”


        Just how far you go into treating yourself like a child is up to you; but no spanking or face slapping, no name-calling, no sitting in the corner and no going to bed without your supper! After all, we want to be kind to our Self, not mean. I went out and bought a package of those little metallic stars and made charts to put them on. Why? Because my biggest kick as a young child was to see a star beside my name on the wall or if the teacher drew a star by my grade on a paper. You can even make some of the things you enjoyed doing as a child into rewards -- go to a park and swing, run through the sprinkler(s), color or draw, or do something else to make your inner child happy!



Part Three

        Don’t be stingy with your rewards! No punishments are allowed.   Believe me when I say "the carrot" works much better than "the stick." A few years ago, I was trying to lose a bunch of weight. I debated on whether to count my highest weight of all time or my highest weight registered on my chosen "weight loss" site. The first one would mean I had lost five pounds, but the second would only be three. I struggled with that for quite some time because I had already bought myself a prize! Finally, I decided, “Why not reward myself for every three pounds I lose?” After all, the mantras of this site are, “Slow and steady wins the race,” and “One pound or one inch at a time.”

        Therefore, my third suggestion is to reward yourself often. This doesn't have to cost any money at all. You can give yourself a star or a smiley face for every daily goal you meet. Even if you walked only five minutes instead of your intended 20, give yourself a reward because you were active for at least those five minutes! If you make an honest attempt to complete at least half of your goals for a day, reward yourself with 15 minutes of “alone time” or listening to music or another enjoyable activity. You can play a game, color a picture, take a bubble bath or find some other way to reward yourself.


        For your weight, don't be afraid to do something special for every single pound or every inch if you want to. Even if your scale went the wrong way or stayed in the same spot, ask yourself, “Did I do my exercise?” Or, “Did I record all of my food?” If you answer “Yes” to either question, give yourself a prize anyway!


        Of course, you can spend money if you have it. How much you spend is up to you, but don't go overboard. Chris Downie, author of The Spark, suggests saving a dollar for accomplishing your daily goals. If you are trying to lose weight, you might squirrel-away $1 for every pound you lose. What happens if you don't have that amount of money? Think of something else! You can always chose one of the free suggestions elsewhere in this series. Never let the lack of money stand in the way of rewarding your Self.



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